Jeepney stories

“Bumaba ako sa jeepney kung saan tayo’y laging magkatabi”

iding the Philippine Jeepney: A Commuter’s Guide to People and Drivers

For almost two years and counting, I’ve been commuting to college. In that time, I’ve probably ridden around 500 jeepneys and shared a seat with over a thousand different people.

Jeepneys are the cheapest form of transportation in the country, starting at just ₱6.00 for students and senior citizens and a ₱7.50 minimum fare for regular passengers. Yet, they can also be the most annoying mode of transit (at least for me) for a dozen reasons. I’ve already listed my top 10 pros and cons of jeepney rides elsewhere, but now I want to talk about the people who make or break the experience: the commuters and the drivers.

THE COMMUTERS

I’m one of them—though I often wonder if I share their same habits and attitudes. Over time, I’ve categorized the different types of commuters:

1. The "I’ll-wait-for-you-to-pass-it-because-I’m-lazy" Commuter:

   These are the people who refuse to hand their fare to the driver because they’re seated far back, even if they’re the only other passenger. (I’ll admit, I act like this when I’m wearing a tight skirt since it’s hard to move!)

2. The "Zoned-Out-and-Ignoring-You" Commuter:

   This type irritates me. They stare blankly into space, dead set on ignoring everyone around them as if they live in an entirely different dimension.

3. The "Hand-It-To-Me-I’ve-Got-Nothing-Better-To-Do" Commuter:

   This saintly passenger willingly grabs everyone’s fare and hands it over to the driver. Sometimes they’re just exceptionally kind and considerate. I once met a rider like this who turned out to be a teacher from my school!

4. The "Headbanging-to-My-Own-Beat" Commuter:

   Blasting music through their earphones or iPod, these folks are dead to the world. You could scream right next to them and they wouldn’t flinch. Honestly, they’re hilarious to watch.

5. The PDA Commuters:

   There’s nothing wrong with light affection—holding hands or a quick peck on the cheek is fine. But then there are the hardcore couples: full-on lip-locking, smooching, harutan, and lampungan. According to unwritten jeepney etiquette, thou shalt not make thy seatmate uncomfortable. PDA makes single people bitter about their exes! Besides, if you can do all that in front of a dozen strangers, what are you doing when you’re alone?

6. The "Look-How-Rich-or-Religious-I-Am" Commuter:

   These riders are loud and flamboyant about their possessions. They’ll flash expensive gadgets, or aggressively hold out rosaries and prayer books. While some people are just naturally pious, you can feel when someone is doing it purely for show.

7. The "I’ll-Pay-For-You-No-I’ll-Pay-For-You" Commuters:

   Friends who perform a whole dramatic scene over who gets to pay the fare. They race to pay, even though you know deep down both are silently hoping the other person actually covers it ("ikaw dapat manlibre"). They fumble endlessly in their bags, taking forever to pull out actual coins.

THE DRIVERS

1. The "Short-Arm" Driver:

   These drivers barely stretch their hands back to grab your fare. It’s annoying when you’re leaning halfway across the aisle and they refuse to meet you halfway.

2. The "I-Refuse-to-Stop" Driver:

   Effectively deaf. Even if you shout "Para!" at the top of your lungs, they just slow down slightly instead of making a full stop. My mom once cursed out a driver because he expected her to jump off a moving jeep!

3. The "Oops-I-Forgot-You’re-a-Student" Driver:

   I hate it when I explicitly ask for a student discount, yet they still hand back change calculated for a regular fare.

4. The Driver With Tics/Mannerisms:

   I’ve seen it all—from a driver who burped continuously for 30 minutes to one whose shoulder twitched repeatedly like he was hit by a sudden draft (parang nahipan ng hangin). It gets a bit scary when you wonder if a tic might cause an accident!

5. The "I-Know-Your-Mom-So-It’s-Free" Driver:

   My absolute favorite! I wish every driver was a family friend who lets you ride for free.

These are the unforgettable characters I’ve encountered on the road. Some have made me laugh, smile, faint from hunger, or boil with rage. But at the end of the day, love them or hate them, I truly can’t live without jeepneys.