Manila and its unknown part

I thought I didn’t like the Manila episode of Parts Unknown. It is not the usual Anthony Bourdain show that I know and love . I thought that they featured few Filipino dishes and focused on the slums area knowing it is a travel and food show.

But I pondered and finished the whole episode. I don't want to accept the fact that I cried on the last part of the show. The good thing is, I learned that I'm not the only one.

They featured on why Filipinos are so damn caring. They did that by focusing on Overseas Filipino Workers. They show how we love balikbayan boxes and that OFWs will throw anything they have in that big box. That inside of the box is worth of thousands of sweat and tears. We have the box so we can have a piece of them because they are miles away.

Filipinos are so damn caring because our government is a trash and we only have one another to take care of each other.

We learn to be strong inspite of the wildest storm, we learn to be brave inspite of the wildest monsters, we learn to sing in the midst of difficulties.

That's the Filipino spirit...

Thank you Anthony and staff for showing the entire world that Filipinos should be known not only because of Manny Pacquiao, but because of the Filipino spirit we possess.

Thank you Anthony Bourdain 💚💜💙 continue to do that with other countries so a part of them will not be unknown anymore.

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Ely Buendia Greatest Hits Dec 2015

This is late post but I just like to post this. So I went to Ely Buendia's greatest hits at Robinson's Galleria with my brother. We were so thrilled that he sang some rare songs like Fruitcake and Christmas Party.  It's one of happiest Ely in concert I've seen. He made jokes like "Music pa more? Or should I say great music pa more?" During Christmas Party, he let us stand and be near at the stage. I was able to hold his hand.. That's one of the highlights of my 2015. Sorry, if it is shallow, but I am a fan since God knows when so pardon me for being a fan girl :)

Sending to the Universe

Just sending this to the universe. Just releasing this from my chest.

Do i really have this aura or personality that makes people not interested at me?
Girls say I’m pretty but I don’t feel it. Actually i think it’s ok that nobody wants me. I’ve been living alone for 25 years. I’m feeling bad because everyone around me seems getting attention from people, and here I am at the corner as always watching people happy and feel loved. I am loved, i am not questioning that, but it’s not kind of love that I am seeing around me.

I am such a looser to remember this one moment happened a couple days ago. This guy, he is one of the cutest guy in our company, we always joke around, when he saw me at the door, he waited for me to come out and give the most pa cute look and stare he can give. It’s good that i have practiced making the No Reaction face. well i hoped i didn’t show that i am really kilig with that look he gave me. Damn you! I know there is no slightest chance that we will be together, i also don’t want to think that he likes me. Please don’t be too pa cute. I am dying inside thinking if there is a tiniest chance that he has a crush at me. If that’s even possible. Well, normal looking guys seems not interested at me, how will a cute and handsome guy will have a crush at me when he have unlimited access to prettiest and hottest girls? I can’t and won’t compete with that. I will just think that he haven’t met a girl who wears a storm trooper shirt and have a darth vader and marge Simpsons lego at her desk that’s why he is giving me some attention that I badly needed.

Acceptance

Today I accept myself. Well sort of.

If I will not let myself be exposed to other people and guys will not make an effort to know this elusive girl then… I will need to accept the fact that I am not made to be with someone else. If my characteristics will not change and can’t find someone who matches my social weirdness, then I need to accept the fact that I will do these things alone: traveling, going to art fairs, bookstores and gigs. God made me to be alone since he thought that I’m completely ok with it or that’s how I perceive myself.

Well I bought a scarf and I have 3 succulents so now I have an old maid starter pack. I accept that I won’t have any kids. Sorry egg cells, but I don’t need you 😢 I accept that I might not feel the kind of love I am hoping for. 😩 I accept that I am a pathetic looser.😫 Admitting this even only in written form hurts pala! 😭 

Thank you N for shaking my head a while ago. I think that’s just what I need to stop this madness inside my head. The crazy thoughts of me and you is just lingering inside my brain. THANK YOU VERY much! Because of you I realized those things. And J, yes you are right, you should pat yourself at the back since I followed you on instagram. Isang karangalan talaga yun.. This is a risky step for me. Exposing myself to you. I don’t like you but I like N, hoping that you will tell what my instagram looks like to him. Or maybe following you is a first step for me to expose myself to other people. Hay you can’t blame a girl for trying ika nga…