"Boy, I think we'd look good together. I'd share you my umbrella in the stormy weather
When someone says that we will be friends forever, I know it’s not true. I've heard it a thousand times before—it's such a cliché. That's why I get so sad when people leave, because I know that when they leave, it's really over. I won't listen to or believe the flowery promises that we’ll keep in touch, that we’ll still see each other, or that I can reach out whenever I need them. Blah, blah, blah.
I am at an age where I've seen so many people come and go. It's really painful, but I don't have a choice except to move forward and meet new people. Then, eventually, they will leave too. It's a cycle I don't want to keep going through. I want to skip the hellos and the goodbyes; I just want to stay in the moment, making memories. The happy times. The days when my stomach aches from laughing too hard. The inside jokes. The nights we get drunk. The times we console each other during dark days. The moments when we are so happy that we wish they would never end.
What’s worse is knowing that the other person doesn't feel the same way. When they don't hold on to those memories you made together. When you realize you were just an extra who played a cameo in their life—easy to forget because what they have in their lives now is so much better. Contrary to what Beyoncé sings, I am replaceable. And it sucks.
I wish I had a stronger tolerance for this endless cycle.
"We keep on waiting waiting on the world to change. It's not that we don't care, we just know that the fight ain't fair. So we keep on waiting, waiting on the world to change. One day our generation is gonna rule the population so we keep on waiting, waiting on the world to change"
It's sad to know that Ferdinand "Bongbong" Marcos Jr. and Maria Leonor "Leni" Robredo are in a close fight for the vice presidency. In a perfect world, this situation wouldn't exist. In a perfect world, we never forget history. In a perfect world, we learn from the past.
In the first hours of COMELEC's partial and unofficial count, Duterte and BBM were leading. Why is this happening? I can't understand. By evening, I concede. Duterte is our new president. I have so many qualms about him, but I can accept him. On the other hand, I can't, for the love of bleep, accept BBM. I question the Filipinos who voted for him. Then I pondered and realized that Filipinos are known for electing flawed candidates. We voted for an action star as president. Then he was found guilty of plunder. After being granted a pardon, he was elected as mayor. He ran for president again, and... drumroll please... he didn't win (YAY!). Another president, charged with various cases and under house arrest, ran for governor and won. And oh, did you know that Manny Pacquiao isn't just a boxer, basketball player, and coach? He just recently secured a seat as a senator.
I wonder why people still vote for a candidate with a notorious family history. I've read posts, articles, and tweets about why people voted for BBM. But for me, whatever infrastructure he built, senate bills he authored, windmills he put up, or how cute his son Sandro is, it won't overshadow the facts: he was not innocent when Martial Law happened, he denied thousands of human rights claimants their due compensation despite a US court decision compelling the Marcos family to settle, and there is the endless issue of their ill-gotten wealth.
In his miting de avance, he said, "Malaki ang utang na loob ko sa inyo." Right from the horse's mouth, ladies and gentlemen. When I heard it, I smiled and said, "Yes, really big—around 20 billion."
On the afternoon of May 9, after we voted, COMELEC released partial and unofficial results. I couldn't shake the feeling as BBM led. Hey Mom and Dad, be glad that your daughter can't sleep with the fact that there is a 70% chance the dictator's son could take the second-highest position in the country. I want to pat myself on the back; I'm glad I care about this country. I fell asleep around 1:00 AM. I don't know why, but around 2:30 AM, I woke up and checked my Twitter feed. Surprisingly, I wasn't the only one awake. #LabanLeni was trending worldwide. By 3:00 AM, Leni was leading. I still couldn't sleep because the lead was so small, but as I read more tweets, analysts projected Leni's votes would overtake BBM's. It gave me some peace.
I voted for Leni, though I had my doubts about her too. It's no secret she wasn't the Liberal Party's first choice for VP. We also know she didn't really want to run for any position. I think she was pressured by the LP. But of course, she gave the usual line: she couldn't turn her back on serving her country. I don't know why, but I believed her. She has a sincerity and purity of heart I didn't see in the other VP candidates.
Side note: the most memorable statement during the Vice Presidential debate came from Trillanes. When asked about his achievements, he cited his fight to expose the truth. He said something like, "Kung hindi na-expose 'yung corruption ni Binay, siya sana ang presidente natin ngayon." I appreciated that statement because since 2010, when Binay was elected VP, everyone knew he planned to run for president. His six-year term felt more like a campaign than public service.
Anyway, Leni's line, "May the best woman win," was brilliant too. Another thing that made me hesitate to vote for Leni was when she admitted she wasn't ready to be president. As VP, you must possess the qualities of a president. You need to be prepared to step up at any moment if the president cannot perform their duties. It would be a disaster if the VP weren't ready for that responsibility. I feared she might end up a puppet of the LP. But after hearing her speak in debates and interviews, I felt she would be decent enough not to be dictated to by the people who brought her there.
Another widow in yellow is trying to help change this country. I'm not really sure how much of an integral role a VP plays in our government, considering our previous VP used his debate time to highlight his accomplishments as Mayor of Makati. We condemn Mar for the shortcomings of this administration—even the VP condemned him—and he was the Vice President, for God's sake.
As of this writing, she isn't a clear winner yet. With a lead of only 200,000+ votes, I hope she doesn't get complacent. I'm still anxious because it's a tight race to the finish line.
It's still unofficial that it will be a Duterte-Robredo administration. I don't know if they are a perfect fit since they are extremely different from each other. I think Duterte will discipline us and Leni will be the one to discipline Duterte. haha.
So buckle up because I know this will be a one heck of a ride.
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I thought I didn’t like the Manila episode of Parts Unknown. It is not the usual Anthony Bourdain show that I know and love . I thought that they featured few Filipino dishes and focused on the slums area knowing it is a travel and food show.
But I pondered and finished the whole episode. I don't want to accept the fact that I cried on the last part of the show. The good thing is, I learned that I'm not the only one.
They featured on why Filipinos are so damn caring. They did that by focusing on Overseas Filipino Workers. They show how we love balikbayan boxes and that OFWs will throw anything they have in that big box. That inside of the box is worth of thousands of sweat and tears. We have the box so we can have a piece of them because they are miles away.
Filipinos are so damn caring because our government is a trash and we only have one another to take care of each other.
We learn to be strong inspite of the wildest storm, we learn to be brave inspite of the wildest monsters, we learn to sing in the midst of difficulties.
That's the Filipino spirit...
Thank you Anthony and staff for showing the entire world that Filipinos should be known not only because of Manny Pacquiao, but because of the Filipino spirit we possess.
Thank you Anthony Bourdain 💚💜💙 continue to do that with other countries so a part of them will not be unknown anymore.
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This is late post but I just like to post this. So I went to Ely Buendia's greatest hits at Robinson's Galleria with my brother. We were so thrilled that he sang some rare songs like Fruitcake and Christmas Party. It's one of happiest Ely in concert I've seen. He made jokes like "Music pa more? Or should I say great music pa more?" During Christmas Party, he let us stand and be near at the stage. I was able to hold his hand.. That's one of the highlights of my 2015. Sorry, if it is shallow, but I am a fan since God knows when so pardon me for being a fan girl :)
Do I really have this aura or personality that makes people uninterested in me?
Girls say I’m pretty, but I don’t feel it. Actually, I think it’s okay that nobody wants me—I’ve been living alone for 25 years. I just feel bad because everyone around me seems to get attention from people, while here I am in the corner, as always, watching everyone else be happy and feel loved. I know I am loved—I’m not questioning that—but it’s not the kind of love that I see around me.
I am such a loser for overthinking this moment that happened a couple of days ago. This guy—he's one of the cutest guys in our company—we always joke around. When he saw me at the door, he waited for me to come out and gave me the most pacute look and stare he could give. It’s a good thing I’ve practiced making a poker face. Well, I hope I didn’t show how kilig I actually was with that look he gave me. Damn you!
I know there isn't the slightest chance that we will be together, and I don’t want to assume he likes me either. Please don’t be too pacute. I am dying inside, wondering if there’s even the tiniest chance that he has a crush on me—if that’s even possible. Well, normal-looking guys don't seem interested in me, so how could a cute, handsome guy have a crush on me when he has unlimited access to the prettiest and hottest girls? I can’t and won’t compete with that. I’ll just tell myself he’s never met a girl who wears a Stormtrooper shirt and keeps Darth Vader and Marge Simpson LEGOs on her desk, and that’s why he’s giving me this attention that I secretly, badly need.
Today I accept myself. Well, sort of.
If I don’t let myself be exposed to other people, and guys don’t make an effort to know this elusive girl, then… I need to accept the fact that I am not meant to be with someone else. If my characteristics don’t change and I can’t find someone who matches my social weirdness, then I need to accept that I will do these things alone: traveling, going to art fairs, visiting bookstores, and going to gigs. God made me to be alone since He thought that I’m completely okay with it—or at least, that’s how I perceive myself.
Well, I bought a scarf and I have three succulents, so now I have an old maid starter pack. I accept that I won’t have any kids. Sorry egg cells, but I don’t need you 😢. I accept that I might not feel the kind of love I’m hoping for 😩. I accept that I am a pathetic loser 😫. Admitting this—even only in written form—hurts pala! ðŸ˜
Thank you, N, for shaking my head a while ago. I think that’s just what I needed to stop this madness inside my head. The crazy thoughts of you and me are just lingering inside my brain. THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Because of you, I realized these things. And J, yes, you are right—you should pat yourself on the back since I followed you on Instagram. Isang karangalan talaga 'yun... This is a risky step for me, exposing myself to you. I don’t like you, but I like N, hoping that you will tell him what my Instagram looks like. Or maybe following you is a first step for me to expose myself to other people. Hay, you can’t blame a girl for trying, ika nga…
