Today I accept myself. Well, sort of.
If I don’t let myself be exposed to other people, and guys don’t make an effort to know this elusive girl, then… I need to accept the fact that I am not meant to be with someone else. If my characteristics don’t change and I can’t find someone who matches my social weirdness, then I need to accept that I will do these things alone: traveling, going to art fairs, visiting bookstores, and going to gigs. God made me to be alone since He thought that I’m completely okay with it—or at least, that’s how I perceive myself.
Well, I bought a scarf and I have three succulents, so now I have an old maid starter pack. I accept that I won’t have any kids. Sorry egg cells, but I don’t need you 😢. I accept that I might not feel the kind of love I’m hoping for 😩. I accept that I am a pathetic loser 😫. Admitting this—even only in written form—hurts pala! 😭
Thank you, N, for shaking my head a while ago. I think that’s just what I needed to stop this madness inside my head. The crazy thoughts of you and me are just lingering inside my brain. THANK YOU VERY MUCH! Because of you, I realized these things. And J, yes, you are right—you should pat yourself on the back since I followed you on Instagram. Isang karangalan talaga 'yun... This is a risky step for me, exposing myself to you. I don’t like you, but I like N, hoping that you will tell him what my Instagram looks like. Or maybe following you is a first step for me to expose myself to other people. Hay, you can’t blame a girl for trying, ika nga…
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