Acceptance

Today I accept myself. Well sort of.

If I will not let myself be exposed to other people and guys will not make an effort to know this elusive girl then… I will need to accept the fact that I am not made to be with someone else. If my characteristics will not change and can’t find someone who matches my social weirdness, then I need to accept the fact that I will do these things alone: traveling, going to art fairs, bookstores and gigs. God made me to be alone since he thought that I’m completely ok with it or that’s how I perceive myself.

Well I bought a scarf and I have 3 succulents so now I have an old maid starter pack. I accept that I won’t have any kids. Sorry egg cells, but I don’t need you 😢 I accept that I might not feel the kind of love I am hoping for. 😩 I accept that I am a pathetic looser.😫 Admitting this even only in written form hurts pala! 😭 

Thank you N for shaking my head a while ago. I think that’s just what I need to stop this madness inside my head. The crazy thoughts of me and you is just lingering inside my brain. THANK YOU VERY much! Because of you I realized those things. And J, yes you are right, you should pat yourself at the back since I followed you on instagram. Isang karangalan talaga yun.. This is a risky step for me. Exposing myself to you. I don’t like you but I like N, hoping that you will tell what my instagram looks like to him. Or maybe following you is a first step for me to expose myself to other people. Hay you can’t blame a girl for trying ika nga…