Sending to the Universe

Just sending this to the universe. Just releasing this from my chest.

Do i really have this aura or personality that makes people not interested at me?
Girls say I’m pretty but I don’t feel it. Actually i think it’s ok that nobody wants me. I’ve been living alone for 25 years. I’m feeling bad because everyone around me seems getting attention from people, and here I am at the corner as always watching people happy and feel loved. I am loved, i am not questioning that, but it’s not kind of love that I am seeing around me.

I am such a looser to remember this one moment happened a couple days ago. This guy, he is one of the cutest guy in our company, we always joke around, when he saw me at the door, he waited for me to come out and give the most pa cute look and stare he can give. It’s good that i have practiced making the No Reaction face. well i hoped i didn’t show that i am really kilig with that look he gave me. Damn you! I know there is no slightest chance that we will be together, i also don’t want to think that he likes me. Please don’t be too pa cute. I am dying inside thinking if there is a tiniest chance that he has a crush at me. If that’s even possible. Well, normal looking guys seems not interested at me, how will a cute and handsome guy will have a crush at me when he have unlimited access to prettiest and hottest girls? I can’t and won’t compete with that. I will just think that he haven’t met a girl who wears a storm trooper shirt and have a darth vader and marge Simpsons lego at her desk that’s why he is giving me some attention that I badly needed.