Gives you hell

I’ve got so many things to tell. I don’t know if I can say all those things.

First I still don’t have a cellphone. My father is too thrifty. I am thrifty but he is just too thrifty and it is annoying. I got depressed sometimes not because I don’t have the cellphone or maybe it’s a part of it but the issue is they don’t give me something I like. I mean I may not be the best daughter but I behaved or I pretend to behave the way they like. I don’t go anywhere past 9 pm, I have good grades… so I guess I need some reward.

I don’t have an internet. I go to computer shops every time I needed to. And if you don’t know my course is Bus. I.T. so I really need internet services. I don’t ask them to give money to buy clothes, CDs or books. I’m using all my savings. As of now I have 20 bucks. I just bought Bob Ong’s Kapitan Sino. I really like to have Paolo Coelho’s Veronica Decides to Die. When we are at National I said that I like that book to my mom. She said she will buy me when it’s “salary time”. Well it’s almost august and she told me that last July. Damn it. I cried every time the cellphone issue comes into my mind.

I am about to graduate this March. And I’m already planning my future. I said to myself that I will apply to call center because the salary is quite high. If I will get about maybe 10-20 thousand in my first job, I will give 5 thousand bucks to my parents then the rest is for my luho and maybe save a little. At my first salary I will buy the latest cellphone. I know that I said before that I can live without that, I still can but it’s different. I want something I never had. I will also save some money for my “laptop fund”. I hate my laptop now. REALLY!! DAMN IT!! I also planned to go to abroad, maybe anywhere in Asia or Europe. I also said before that I will not go work abroad but things changed and I am changing too. I want to go to abroad primarily not because of earning dollars but because I want to be independent. I said before that I am not ready to go anywhere because I will be away with my family and I will be away with my favorite bands. But I said that couple of years ago, and at that time I am still young still thinking of stupid things. Now I am 19. I am way matured than before.

A lot of notable people died this year. And we are just half way through it. Francis M., Michael Jackson and now Cory Aquino. I just come to realize that a lot of things may happen that we never expect that it would happen. And now we are losing and losing iconic people who let us rediscover the words Pinoy Pride , Democracy and other words that we will not learn without them.